A LABOR DAY TRADITION IS BACK
Eric Glazer, Esq.
Published September 5, 2022
Nancy Knowitall is the President of Broken Dreams Condo, a 10
story 120 unit condominium here in South Florida. Nancy decides
that because it’s Labor Day, she is going to prove to the owners
just how dedicated her and her board are, by holding a Board
meeting to discuss the state of the condominium and all the
necessary repairs that are coming.
Nancy started by discussing firesafety. Barbara Brainless
interrupts and says she understands that by January 1st,
2024, there needs to be sprinklers everywhere, including
everyone’s shower and car. Barbara explains that she’s wrong
but by January 1st, 2024 the building must have fire
sprinklers or an Engineered Life Safety System or ELSS When
Nancy was unable to give a good explanation as to what at ELSS
was, Barbara accused her of Russian collusion and demanded a
full investigation by the fining committee.
Harry Helpmeout was the next Board member to speak. He told the
owners that under the new laws, the building was about to
undergo an inspection by either an architect or engineer by
December 31st, 2024. David Dontrustyou stood up and
said he heard about these new inspection laws, it sounds like
another Mara Lago search to him, the architects or engineers
really work for the FBI and vowed to barricade his door and
never let anyone into his home without a warrant. Harry
reminded him that David was wrong and that Phase One of the
inspection will simply be visual while phase Two of the
inspection may require destructive testing and that when all is
said and done, the condominium will likely bet hit with
potentially millions of dollars in mandatory repairs. Chita
Cheapskate went crazy and vowed not to contribute one dollar and
that if the Board simply covered up the massive cracks in the
building with beautiful flowers, the problem is solved. Harry
took his seat in disbelief.
Next Board member to speak was Wendy Wannaquit. She is the
association’s Treasurer. She reminded everyone that the
condominium must also have a structural integrity reserve study
which requires the condo to hire an architect or engineer to
perform a reserve study of the structural, electrical, roofing,
foundation, walls and other elements of the condominium by
December 31st, 2024 and that starting January 1st,
2025 the owners must fully fund the reserve account each year,
for all of these items and more. Ira Inquisitor tried to do his
best to calm the crowd who by now was in an uproar about all the
new expenses. He told everyone to calm down and relax. He said
that we will simply have to use all of the current monies that
are in reserve to help pay all of these massive upcoming
expenses. Ira calmly asked Wendy how much the building has in
reserves and Wendy calmly answered “eleven dollars.”
The crowd went ballistic demanding to know where all their money
went. Cries of “thief” “criminal” and other assorted four
letter words were hurled at the Board members. Board member
Karen Killmealready screamed back at the crowd that it was their
fault that they’re broke because for the last 30 years the
owners voted to waive reserves each year. Don Dontbelieveit
yelled back “No excuse, give us back our money you stole.”Don
immediately gave up and sat down.
The final Board member Fred Fireme reminded the crowd that
starting in 2025 the reserve study not only has to be done by an
architect or engineer, but the unit owners won’t be able to
waive the reserves like they have done for the past 30 years.
Frida Freakout went crazy. Frida is 85 years old and vowed
never to pay for any items that may need fixing in the future
because she doesn’t have much of a future. Fred explained to
Frida that it doesn’t matter how old she is, she still has to
pay. Frida then challenged Fred to a fist fight in the parking
lot. Fred refused the challenge and sat down.
Suddenly Nancy asked that the Board place an emergency item on
the agenda. The Board members agreed. Nancy then made a motion
to never hold a Board meeting on Labor Day again. Fred seconded
the motion. The vote was unanimous.
HOA & Condo Blog
Eric Glazer graduated
from the University of Miami School of Law in 1992 after
receiving a B.A. from NYU. He has practiced community
association law for three decades and is the owner of
Glazer and Sachs, P.A. a five attorney law firm with
offices in Fort Lauderdale and Orlando.
Eric is Board Certified by The Florida Bar in
Condominium and Planned Development Law.
Since 2009, Eric has been the host of Condo Craze
and HOAs, a weekly one hour radio show that airs at 11:00 a.m.
each Sunday on 850 WFTL.
Eric is the first attorney in the State of
Florida that designed a course that certifies condominium and
HOA residents as eligible to serve on a Board of Directors and
has now certified more than 20,000 Floridians all across the
state. He is certified as a Circuit Court Mediator by The
Florida Supreme Court and has mediated dozens of disputes
between associations and unit owners. Eric also devotes
significant time to advancing legislation in the best interest
of Florida community association members.